1. |
Pickup Truck
03:00
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I'm driving down the road
listening to the radio inside my joy pride and luck,
My joy pride and luck ain't a rabbits foot
it's my nifty old pickup truck.
It's two tone red with flames on the side
big wheels and jacked up shocks
the only problem is the back perimeter
is a 2x3 inch box
Chorus:
I get drunk and I cheat on my wife in my nifty old pickup truck,
I got a feeling I will never get caught,
I got my cowboy luck,
my pickup's red
like my girl's head
if my wife catches me I'll be dead,
But right now I'm carefree singing my song
in my nifty old pickup truck.
There's gold in the fields,
I sure hope it yields,
It's about that time of year.
The gold in the fields ain't corn or wheat,
it's the barely for my good ol beer,
Chorus
Bridge:
Well I couldn't wait to see
If the carpet matched the drapes
of the girl that moved in next door
but I guess I'll never know
cuz I got her panties off
and she's got herself a set of Hard wood floors
Chorus
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2. |
Grandma's a Bitch
03:35
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My Grandma's a Bitch,.. you know you really don't need me to type these out.
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3. |
Dream Girl
03:10
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Mama told me one this holds true
In this weary life.
you don't want to take no slutty girl
and make her your wife.
you look for the innocent
kind that likes to repent
on her knees at church.
You won't find her on no singles site,
that narrows down your search.
Mama don't know, ain't gonna hurt her
I don't get off on no churchy squeeze,
I'm sorry Mama I'ma Jesus deserter
I like my women with extra sleeze
Chorus:
I like a girl that can throw her cares away,
I want girl that gets what I mean.
She parties all night
sleeps all day
She wears cowboy boots with her cut off jeans
Fills out a halter top
smokes cigars
I like a girl with lots of tattoos
Likes big trucks, rides fast cars
I need a horny chick that can handle her booze
goin out when it's dark
crusin round the trailer park
hittin up the double wides
looking for a tiny little piece of arm candy
to party by my side
she can strut her stuff with her tits puffed out
with her little ass lookin so tight
don't look at me cross eyed
you better watch out
she ain't afraid to start a fight.
Chorus:
Bridge:
startin out with a big frosty mug
movin on to a few whiskey chasers
vodka, redbull, hotshots, cocaine, windex, apple pie, don juan and mary jane
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4. |
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I'm sitting here fakin, like my heart ain't achin tonight
you start flirtin with me but somethin bout your face ain't right,
it's been such a long time since I've had one on one time
and my prospects aren't lookin too great
so just leave me the bottle
and I'll keep on drinkin
and you'll have yourself a date
Chorus:
You should be thankful I'm drinkin tonight
you are so purty when I turn down the lights
my good friend Jack Daniels has shown me where I went wrong.
this fuzzy warm feeling makes you look good
honey won't you take me home?
cuz I drank you good lookin
you won't spend the night alone.
their closin the place and I kept up the pace with my friends
I look across the room and there you are flirtin again
but somethins been changin, my jeans are a ragin
and you'r lookin mighty fine.
the time is upon me to turn on the charm
I'm gonna make you all mine
Chorus
I woke up this mornin without the need of an alarm
I'd sure like to move but your fat ass is crushing my arm
what the hell was I thinkin, what was I drinkin
for me I'm afraid it's too late
My heads in a fog I'll be cursing beer goggles
they've drunkenly sealed my fate.
last Chorus:
You should be thankful I was drinkin last night
you were so purty but now you're a sight
am I seein double or triple or are those your chins?
this sick queezy feelin has me a reelin,
Jesus I know that I've sinned
if you get me out of this I'll never drink again.
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5. |
Cheap Beer
02:27
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Working at the factory since 5 am
can't wait to get my tired ass in my dodge
speeding down the hiway to meet all my friends
and drink a bunch of cheap beer in my garage
Chorus:
Drinkin cheap beer, drinkin cheap beer
the whole damn neighborhood's standin in here
if your stressed out you don't need a massage
just drink a bunch of cheap beer in my garage
Neighbor girl is cryin cuz her man took off
chased another filly cut from finer cloth
he's the one that's missin out cuz now she's here
suckin off my boy and drinkin my cheap beer
chorus:
Drinkin Cheap beer, drinkin cheap beer
the whole damn neighborhood is standin in here
if you're depressed don't matter the cause
you can get some dick and cheap beer in my garage
bridge:
you can drink champagne on a roof top patio
drink mint juleps in the bayou
you can drink all the fancy shit with people you don't know
or get loaded with the friends that live beside you
Holy shit it's 3 am
couple hours gotta go to work again
Can't call in sick the boss already knows because,
he's been drinkin cheap beer in my garage
chrous:
Time really flies when you're flappin your jaws
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6. |
Can't
04:32
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7. |
Fool Me
02:46
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I guess you aren't mine any more
I reckon you never were
seemed like a good idea at the time to chase you in place of her
the one you're with is meaner and the grass is always greener
in another lady's bed
wasn't too bright to chase another lady
who was chewin on another man's bread
Chorus:
Did you cry when you cheated on me
like you cried when you cheated with me on him
were you feelin so bad
feelin so sad
that you just had to do it again
should've known better when I opened my heart
and invited you to move on in,
fool me one time shame on you
fool me twice ain't gonna happen again.
I guess you don't think of me anymore
I wonder if you ever did
did you lie, you preoccupied
tryin to keep your dirty secret hid
I reckon it was better that you wrote the dear john letter
to gently let me down
wasn't too bright to think it was love
but to you was just foolin around.
Chorus:
Bridge:
you were all I could think of, after you stole my heart
I would have kept it closer if I knew you were just gonna tear it apart.
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The Remains Omaha, Nebraska
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